Angel Without Wings
by xxBellatrix
Summary: Asch/Luke. 3 years later, Luke is home and safe with Tear and Guy, but whatever happened to Asch? And what might his feelings be when everything's said and done? Warning of AU and OOC-ness
1. Prologue

**Angel Without Wings**

**Author's Note: This is my first story, so please be gentle! The time line is set soon after Luke emerges from the core.**

**Prologue:**

Choral Castle was freezing that night, chilled with leftover frost that clung to the air from a storm a few days prior. A mist covered the castle so entirely that the lone figure perched atop the tower was barely discernible, save for the crimson hair blowing in the wind.

The man gazed upward, toward the one patch of sky that wasn't obstructed by mist, toward the solitary beam of moonlight illuminating him. He sighed.

"So there you are," came a harsh voice from behind him. He vaguely realized that it was female. "Why did you come to a place like this?"

"I was thinking , before you interrupted me," he said, his troubled features momentarily marred by annoyance. "What do you want with me?"

"We were worried, when you didn't meet us in Keterburg like we'd agreed," she hesitated. "Asch."

The sound of his name seemed to shake him out of his reverie. "Your worry is unnecessary, I'm fine." he turned away from her to gaze back at the moon, but it had once again slipped back into shadow. He sighed again.

The woman hesitated once more, and then climbed onto the wall beside him. "You can find him. I know he wants to see you."

Asch pinned her with a glare. "Tell me," he spoke softly. "Whatever it is that you think you know about me."

She didn't answer at first, but looked away. "I lost someone once too. Someone I cared about."

"Luke isn't dead," Asch said dismissively.

"Neither is she," the woman said, looking back at Asch. "But she may as well be, because we can never speak again. We parted as enemies, and I forever lost her."

She looked sideways at Asch, and spoke even softer than he had. "Don't make the same mistake I did."

Silence stretched between the two, until in one fluid movement, Asch rose.

"I need to think."

The woman smiled, and made no move to get up, but only watched Asch walk away.

Outside the castle, Asch paused and took one last look at the sky. The mist had lifted, and the moon was shining down brilliantly on him.

_I will go to Keterburg_, he thought. _Hopefully, I'll find my answers there_.

**Author's Note: Prologue done! Why was Asch in Choral Castle? Who was he talking to? And what's going on with him and Luke? Review and review if you wanna find out more =) !**


	2. Chapter 1

**Angel Without Wings: Chapter 1**

Asch was slowly coming to realize that it was fully possible to lose a staring contest with oneself.

The God-general was perched on a small alcove on the windowsill of his hotel room, and he was staring out at the harshest snowstorm Keterburg had seen in years.

At least, that was what he was trying to do. However, somehow Asch's eyes never seemed to be able to concentrate on the storm. His gaze kept catching and halting on the red-haired man reflected back at him through the glass. At first, he tried to convince himself that it was just a trick of the light, or that it was perfectly normal for people to see someone other than themselves in the mirror, another simple trick of the mind.

But no matter how hard Asch tried to stare it down, the man in his reflection wasn't going away, and if he was being perfectly honest with himself, he knew damn well why.

_Damn replica_. Asch thought, still glaring daggers at the window and willing himself to believe that the green eyes looking back at him were truly his own. _A million miles away for all I know and he still won't leave me alone._

The God-general finally rose from the windowsill to pace across the luxurious, wood-panelled room, but froze once he came face-to-face with the full-length mirror.

_This is bullshit_. Asch spat at his reflection, and abruptly turned on the heel of his boot and marched from the room.

Ignoring the snowstorm completely, Asch began pacing the perimeter of the hotel, his crimson hair whipping fiercely in the wind. He passed by a blonde woman in a black dress covering her head with her hands and running into the hotel, and it reminded him of his last conversation with Legretta, and her last words to him echoed in his head.

"_Don't make the same mistake I did_."

"It's not the same thing," Asch mumbled to himself, as he walked through the storm without seeming to notice the icy pellets buffeting off of his skin. "Her and Tear had something precious, something they shouldn't have had to lose, like a... like a bond."

_And you and Luke don't share a bond?_ A small voice at the back of his mind mocked. Asch snarled at the unwelcome intrusion.

_It isn't the same thing!_ Asch repeated angrily. _And so what if I got used to his being around? So what if it makes me uncomfortable that I have no idea where he is right now? It's only because that worthless dreck is my only link to Natalia, and I have to make sure she stays safe!_

But there is a limit to just how much one can lie to themselves.

Suddenly Asch's trance-like march around the hotel grounds came to an abrupt halt. He'd wandered into the courtyard behind the hotel, and had come face to face with a sculpture of an angel carved entirely from glittering ice. Asch stared at it hypnotically, his eyes riveted on the angel's face. It was serene and very innocent, yet somehow knowing. The angel's wings curved gracefully skyward, and her hands were pressed outward, palms up, in a gesture that looked horrifically like unconditional forgiveness and understanding.

Asch glared at the sculpture with so much hatred in his eyes, he was half-surprised it wasn't melting.

_Forgiveness? What the hell do I need forgiving for? I didn't do anything wrong! I've helped that damned replica out so much he owes me his entire worthless life! And understanding, don't make me laugh! There's nothing to understand! So what if I might not feel the same way about Natalia as I once did? That has nothing to do with anything! That replica took everything from me; the least he can do is make sure he lives out the rest of the miserable life that he stole from me! That's the only reason I've invested so much personal effort into keeping him alive, the only reason that I'm worried about him!_

Asch froze, staring appalled with eyes wide open into the beautiful angel's face, the angel whom, he could not deny, reminded him unequivocally of Luke. He stared into those clear, glacial eyes, the eyes that glowed green to him from the deep recesses of his memory, and he thought only of the one that he hated, the one that had tried to erase him from this world, the one that he almost died trying to protect, the one that he only now was realizing he could never completely escape from, because part of him didn't want to be free.

With a sudden flare of such hatred and frustration that Asch hadn't known in years, he rent his sword from the scabbard at his side and sliced the beautiful Luke-angel's head off.

***

"Luke, are you sure you're all right?" Tear looped her arm around Luke's shoulders, trying to help Guy support his weight. Luke elegantly shrugged both of them off.

"I promise, I'm fine," Luke smiled, looking into the concerned eyes of his friends. "It was just a sudden migraine, it was nothing. Really."

"Luke," Guy fixed him with a stern gaze. "You just collapsed in the middle of the town square. That doesn't sound like 'nothing' to me."

Luke averted his eyes from Guy's worried expression, and worse, from Jade's sweeping, knowing eyes.

_For once I'm not lying_. Luke thought bitterly. _But I know exactly why I collapsed... it's not something I can tell Tear and Guy though, although it looks like Jade already knows..._ "I'm probably just exhausted. You guys don't mind if we rest here tonight, do you?"

"You're sick, Luke. I'd have insisted we rest if you hadn't just brought it up," a flash of confusion crossed Guy's face. "Actually, I'm surprised you're being so reasonable."

_Anything to stop you from guessing the truth._ "Heh, guess I really am growing up, huh Tear?" Luke forced a playful expression on his face and glanced back at Tear, who was unsmiling.

"You don't look well," Jade admitted, eyes still on Luke. "Let's go, we should reach the Keterburg hotel as soon as possible... after all, we don't want Luke, ahem_... fainting_... on us again."

The mocking edge to Jade's last words and the small lift at the corner of his mouth made Luke's stomach twist uneasily.

Luke woke up some hours later, still half asleep. His eyes located the velvet curtains hanging around his bed, and he groggily pulled them back. He gradually took in the lavishly decorated room, noting the intricate designs on the carpet and expensive paintings. His first impression was that he must be back home in his mansion, in a guest room or something, until he saw the raging snowstorm visible through the northern window. It never snows in Kimlasca.

_They must have really taken me to the hotel._ Luke thought_. I don't even remember getting here... The last thing I remember is... pain._ Luke scrunched up his face in concentration, his right hand cupped gingerly around his forehead. _Falling to the ground... Seeing his face in the ice, and feeling confused..._

Luke bolted upright, his mind sharp at last.

_I've been thinking about... Asch._ Luke forced himself to think the name_. I haven't been sleeping right... So my migraine must really have been from exhaustion. But I haven't had a real headache in so long, at first I really thought that it was him... trying to contact me again. _

A bitter laugh escaped Luke's lips, and he was shocked to find that it was his. As comfortable as he was on the bed, he knew that he needed to feel the cold air on his face, feel the ice melting in his hair, anything to distract him. _I can't let myself dwell on this._ _He isn't... he can't come back._

Luke slowly rose from the bed, and crossed the room, intent on reaching the door as fast as possible. He was stopped, however, when he met his reflection in the mirror. He almost didn't recognize himself at first, confused at this stranger with so much ancient grief etched into his features.

_Asch... look what you've done. _

Luke forced himself to wrench himself away from his reflection, and threw himself out into the storm outside. He walked numbly through the snow, with no real destination in mind, intent only on getting as far away from his memories as possible.

The Kimlascan noble was focusing on emptying his mind when he heard a screech from above, and he looked up. A young lady was falling, as if in slow motion, from one of the hotel balconies. Reacting on instinct, Luke ran to her and caught her in his arms. As if in shock, the girl held completely still, her eyes wide open. Luke took this opportunity to examine the girl, and found that she was blonde, with light blue eyes. Although there was no physical resemblance whatsoever, Luke couldn't deny that the situation was horrifically familiar, and with a wave of anguish so strong that it threatened to knock him to the ground, tremors shook through his body, and he dropped the girl to the ground.

Years of every ounce of his strength had gone into repressing this one life-shattering memory, all undone in under a minute. Luke was once again standing deep within the core of the planet, cradling in his arms his enemy, his other half, his very reason for existence, and feeling something so powerful he was able to smile in the face of certain death. Luke forced himself back to the present, willed himself to shut down this sudden wave of the most unpleasant of memories, and looked down at his empty arms.

Luke sunk to the ground, unable to fight anymore. His hands automatically shot out to brace himself, and slipped on the patch of ice they landed on. Another wave of pain shot through the red-haired noble, and he immediately closed his eyes. _Don't look at the ice, don't look at the ice, you'll only make the same mistake again; don't look at the ice..._

However just then, a powerful gust of wind knocked right into him, and his head whipped back. Luke stared straight into his reflection, the depthless green eyes, the wild red hair. And just like before, when his sudden headache had forced him to the ground and he'd stared into his own reflection and seen only Asch, he again saw his original.

Ignoring the pain coursing methodically through his body, Luke forced himself to rise, and mechanically march on, completely forgetting the girl lying in the snow at his feet, eyes seeing nothing, mind back in the past. Remembering the past few years with Tear; who had confessed her love for him, with Guy; understanding and patient, though Luke felt he had in no way earned his friend's compassion, with Natalia; broken and shattered beyond repair. And his own life, day to day, trying to cope with the pain, trying to move on, but never seeming able to forget.

It was in this frame of mind that Luke reached the open courtyard, and through the storm he thought he saw a flame rippling through the wind. Wondering why his memory would want to punish him so much, yet oddly compelled, he moved toward the strange flame. The storm seemed to lessen a little, at least enough that Luke could see the source of the fire.

First, his eyes found the beautiful angel sculpture, benevolent and lovely, and then he saw something that put the angel to shame. A face carved in perfect porcelain skin, framed by flaming locks of deepest red. _This can't be real._ As if in a daze, Luke slowly moved forward, toward the vision of his most desperate wish. He realized that he couldn't see the vision's eyes. Luke frowned. _I would hope that my imagination could do better than that._

Time seemed to slow again, as Luke watched the figure only feet in front of him behead the beautiful angel in one fluid movement. That snapped Luke to attention. _That has to be him. It really is him. But how...?_ Then, with a disturbing certainty, Luke realized he didn't care. That was him; the last, most significant piece of his life was within his reach. The years that had separated them suddenly melted into nothing. Luke took a tentative step forward and spoke the name that had haunted him ever since his life had been ripped apart on that one fateful day.

"Asch."

The god-general slowly turned around, and Luke saw a torrent of emotions raging in Asch's eyes: Confusion, frustration, pain, and above all, an all-consuming hatred.

Without a word, Asch turned his sword upon Luke and struck.

**Author's Note: Asch and Luke, reunited at last! But why would Asch strike at Luke? Review & review if you want to hear moore =)**


	3. Chapter 2

**Angel Without Wings: Chapter 2**

"...Asch?!" Luke recoiled in horror, bringing his own sword up only just in time to block his original's attack. Asch swung again, even more viciously, a feral snarl ripping out between his teeth. "Asch!! What the hell are you thinking?! Are you trying to kill me??"

"What does it look like to you, dreck?" Asch swerved and tried to slash at Luke from behind.

Luke staggered and slipped on the ice, narrowly avoiding the crazed Asch's blade, but lost sight of Asch through the heavy snowstorm._ Dammit! What the hell is his problem? He didn't even fight this hard against me back at the core... it's like he thinks I'm everything he hates come to drag him to hell or something..._

"LAST WORDS, DRECK?" Asch bounded out in a hail of ice, slashing at every bit of Luke he could reach. His sword finally snagged on a bit of the noble's sleeve, and for a moment he froze, looking almost surprised.

_Why did he stop..? Did he not think that if he gives in to his inner caveman and attacks me like I've come to steal his firstborn son that eventually he'd hit me? Wait, is he lowering his sword...?!_

"Asch," Luke tried to soften his voice, and held out the hand not still clutching his sword. "Please don't fight me. This is the first time we've seen each other in three years, I don't want to fight you. I understand that you're upset, but--"

Asch's head abrubtly snapped up, and his eyes regained the fervent insanity from before. He screamed and snapped his sword up, aiming for Luke's extended arm. "You understand nothing about me!!"

_!!_ At the last second, Luke jerked his arm to the side, missing Asch's sword by inches, and returned to a defensive stance. _Words aren't getting me anywhere! But I need to get Asch talking. He was going to stop when he realized he'd hurt me. But when I started talking to him, he got even angrier than before. What was it that I said that triggered his fury again...?_

Asch rent twin daggers from his belt and threw them at Luke, one after the other.

"Asch!" Luke yelled in alarm, veering to the left to dodge the first dagger. "Are you seriously trying to kill me?? I haven't seen you for three years, what the hell could I have done to deserve this?!"

While Luke was occupied trying to dodge the daggers, Asch pelted at Luke, knocking him to the ground. "'Deserve'?" Asch hissed, face two inches apart from Luke's, a third dagger pressed to his throat. "Did I 'deserve' to have everything taken from me? Did I 'deserve' to exist, barely alive, at the bottom of the planet's core for two years before I was strong enough to leave? Did I 'deserve' to have spent the last year searching the earth, praying to Gods I don't even believe in that you might have somehow survived?"

"Asch," for that moment, Luke completely forgot that he was pinned beneath someone with deadly intentions toward him, and instead felt warmer than he had in years. "No, of course not. You deserve to have everything that you want. I--"

"Good," Asch hissed, and his words came out like venom. "Because you deserve to die!"

Asch plunged his knife down, but Luke was faster. Kicking Asch's legs out from under him, he escaped. Staring at the god-general on the snowy ground, his hatred-filled eyes focused on him but yet... somehow not seeing him, Luke finally put the pieces together.

_He isn't attacking me. _Luke's eyes widened with the revelation. _He's fighting his demons. Asch is attacking every insecurity he has, and using me as a target. That's why he was so shocked to find that he'd hurt me -- because it isn't really me that he wants to hurt. This is Asch wanting me to help him. And all I've done is run away..._

Luke steeled himself, planting his feet in the snow and grasping his sword in front of him with both hands. "Get up!" he commanded to Asch. The god-general's eyes widened. "If you want my blood, then come and get it."

***

"Heh. Dreck," Asch smiled, rising to his feet, and smirking into the wind. "You won't live to regret those words."

Like lightning, Asch sprang and raced across the courtyard to Luke and aimed again for his arm. Luke blocked, and then struck. The shock of Luke's attack almost made his block come too late. As it was, Asch was pelted back across the field.

_He-- that pathetic -- that he'd even dare when he -- DRECK! _Asch was so furious, he was frozen on the ground. _For a year, I searched for him. For a year, I didn't know if he was still alive. Forced to see him everytime I see my own reflection but never knowing if I'd ever see HIM again... and then, how I felt, back at Daath..._

_***_

_"Asch," said a soft voice, followed by a tap at his door. "Please let us in."_

_"Whatever you want." Asch said from his bed, not bothering to open his eyes. _

_Legretta and Largo entered Asch's room, standing hesitantly at his doorway. Legretta coughed. "We've found him." _

_When no answer came from Asch, Legretta continued. "Asch, since we got you back... you feel like a ghost. You eat, you sleep, but you don't speak unless spoken to, you never punish anyone anymore... it really is like you've died."_

_"Your point...?" Asch asked in a colorless voice._

_Legretta glanced at Largo, and he took a hesitant step forward. "Legretta means that we were worried about you. We finally decided to ask ourselves what we could do to help you.. and we found our answer. We found him, Asch. Luke is alive."_

_Asch's head rose a fraction of an inch, and some color returned to his face. "Alive...?"_

_Largo looked at Legretta, and she looked at the floor. "Well yes... he's currently living at the Fon Fabre manor... with Tear."_

_Asch slowly opened his eyes. "Which one is Tear?"_

_Legretta averted Asch's piercing eyes. "... Van's sister."_

_Asch shut his eyes again, and immediately wished he hadn't. Swirls of color danced behind his closed lids, at first only swirls of piercing blue and long streaks of brown, but then other colors too. A vivid orange began to dance next to the brown, and then a pair of fathomless green orbs. When the colors began to take shape, Asch re-opened his eyes._

_"Asch," Largo's voice interrupted his mind's attempt to portray his torment in abstract paintings. "What will you do?"_

_"I need to think," Asch answered. Largo and Legretta waited for Asch to elaborate, but when he didn't, they began to withdraw back through the door._

_"We're going ahead to Keterburg," Largo said as he walked away. "You will meet us?"_

_"I will."_

_***_

_But I didn't, did I? _Asch was still on the ground, his eyes lost in memories. _No, I never did make up my mind. All I wanted was to find out if he was all right. I guess that Largo and Legretta's word was enough, even without seeing him... _

Asch focused his eyes on Luke, who looked completely mystified as to why his opponent had gone from attempted murder to perfectly comfortable in a pile of snow. _He has his life. What did I expect? That his life might have been as messed up as mine had been without the useless replica around? _Asch's eyes hardened_. No, he has everything he needs. His house, his family... Tear Grants. _

Asch's train of thought suddenly hardened. He began to feel a pressure within his chest, steadily expanding, and threatening to crush him. He finally realized what it was. This was the most upset Asch had ever been in his life. It was enough, but bearable, knowing that his replica had taken everything he had, but now to know that he was moving on with his life, happy, without him...

A bone chilling scream rent out of Asch's throat, a scream that spoke of torture and anguish beyond words, and before he knew it he was on his feet and charging.

Luke blocked and parried as well as he had before, but Asch could tell that he'd lost a lot of his nerve. Asch was alarming him; Luke was scared of him. The knowledge gave him power.

_You'll never know how much I'm bleeding for you right now. I'll make you feel my pain._

Unable to protect himself against god-general's onslaught, Luke ran. Asch chased him around the courtyard, until a particularly vicious gust of wind pushed him back, and he was unable to follow. He was about to push forward, when he caught sight of Luke.

In his flight from Asch, Luke had run up the slight hill with the beautiful angel sculpture. Luke stood directly in front of the angel, completely motionless. While Asch stood entranced, the snowstorm began to abate, and the clouds dispersed. The moon was visible for the first time that night, and Asch could finally see clearly. What he saw was the moonlight falling gently on Luke, casting him in a beautiful glow, and the wings from the angel sculpture flaring out on either side of him.

_Luke looks like an angel._

_A beautiful angel that's trying to save me._

Asch's sword clattered to the ground, and he fell to his knees.

**Author's Note: Sorry if Legretta and Largo are a little OOC! Argh, battle scenes just aren't my thing but it was kind of necessary here. Hopefully I explained a few things in this chapter, like Asch's state of mind when he reached Choral Castle and why Legretta came to him. (Yess, I am a huuge Asch-in-angst fan ^^) And no, it's not done yet ! As always, reviews are love.**


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